I was in an abusive marriage in my 20s. I had two boys who I adored. I wanted to stay to give them some stability in their life, but one day, my eldest came home from school and saw their Dad screaming at me while I sat in the corner of the room in floods of tears. My son was distraught and kept pulling at his Dad’s arm to get him to stop.. he didn’t understand and kept asking what I had done? I realised that by staying, my children would never get to see a good relationship.
When the dust settled, I reached out to a friend that I’d drifted away from during my marriage. They helped me leave and bring my children with me. My ex fought me over custody and tried to tell everyone that I was Bi-Polar and an unfit mother. I thought that I might lose the children.. but we managed to eventually agree a custody split. I’m now in my 30’s and my children are teenagers and much more able to understand what relationships should look like.