My seemingly mild-mannered husband has pressured me into sex so many times, and also to engage in fetish-related acts in public and on video. He has gaslit me, lied to me and hidden things related to his porn consumption. After many arguments he has stopped most of this behaviour but is still addicted to porn, and doesn’t care how I feel about that. I can’t leave, and would love if we could rebuild the relationship, I just want to stop feeling the pain of being so objectified for so long. I want to heal but I don’t know how. I don’t think he understands how it’s eaten away at my spirit. Nobody we know would ever believe any of this about him, and if I left him, I think he would genuinely believe it was not his fault.